Listening and Talking to family members encourages strong relationships and high self-esteem.

A few days back, I saw two girls aged 9 – 11, conversing with each other about how their parents are always glued to their work commitments. Not just that, they also told each other, what and how they felt lonely because there was none to talk to at home. The conversations startled me when they uttered, ‘We have our toys to talk to. If our parents are busy, we can come down and speak to each other.’ For a few seconds, I was glad how supportive these girls were for each other. Yet, in a few seconds, I was dragged into the bitter reality of our families.

Gone are the days when a child was fenced and groomed not just by parents, but grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, cousins, and many more multitude of threads of life. There was always a shoulder to lean upon. Today, the nuclear family system has left the child with limited people, mostly parents, and rarely grandparents. Unfortunately, professional commitments of the parents have ensured the child embrace’s devoid of family conversations and solitude during its formative years.

Kudos and respect for all parents who take pains to balance personal and professional commitments. It is commendable that parents strive to give only the best for their child. However, do we know what exactly our child needs? Time and again, studies have shown that, the basic need of a child is not education, comfort or toys.

It’s ‘Parent’s Time & Attention’. A priceless and satisfying time of family conversations. A child always wants to share the most important and intimate emotions and feelings only with his or her parents, and not with anyone else. The spontaneous reactions of the parents give immense fathomless joy to the child. Accept or deny, this need of the child can only be satisfied by YOU as parents.

‘Family Conversation Time’ during the formative years goes a long way in life. The table talks have a greater impact on family relationships and the roots of the bonds. These dialogs open the gates to freely converse about sensitive and emotional topics, helps to gain confidence and self-esteem. Listening and talking with the family members aids in a better understanding of their needs.

Yes! It’s tough to make time amidst the pressing professional commitments and house chores. But, if you agree to the above, here are few things you can do to encourage family conversations:

• ‘No Office Work’ & ‘Only Family’ time is the first step. Make this as a conscious habit to spend a few hours with the family. All the family members should take part in this time. Play, read, or talk as a family.
• The gadget and technology-free family table talks. It is wise to encourage everyone in the family to contribute to these conversations.
• No hasty couple personal conversations in front of children.
• The bedtime stories and chit chats can unconsciously unravel the various hiccups in the parent-child relationship.
• Every now and then, ask your child how they are feeling, what do they think, ask their opinions, etc. Make them feel included.

Every parent wants a deeper and genuine bond with their child. An honest bond must be nourished with happy and healthy conversations. Accept or deny, one cannot ignore the fact that, a parent’s place in a child’s life is irreplaceable. Let’s move from, ‘I want to give, what I didn’t get’, to, ‘I will give everything that was given and not given to me’.